Dear Sam:

You wrote: “I’m wondering if me getting attached to certain men is related to this need for perfection”- probably because there is nothing much, I figure, in your mind, and life that is NOT related to this need for perfection.

Basically, as I understand it, in your mind, it is either 100% (that A grade) or Nothing. Nothing less than a 100% is acceptable. And so, whenever you perform less than a 100% successfully, in any area, you feel that there is something wrong with you (title of your thread).

Is your life like walking a tightrope and any fall from perfection (100%) is a fall all the way down, a crushing fall?

In relationship, much of what happens has nothing to do with you (who the man is, his choices, his participation in the interactions with you), and yet, those things easily cost you that A grade. It is an impossible way to have a relationship and otherwise, to experience emotional well being.

Back to the title of your thread: “What is wrong with me?” My answer at this point is: believing that perfect success is possible and that there is something wrong with you for not making this impossibility your reality.

Let’s keep communicating, for as long as you’d like.

anita