Dear Sam:

The gradual increase of the awareness you currently have is the key to moving forward. The ongoing paying-attention, being mindful, makes more awareness possible. It takes time, a lot of patience with the process, and gentleness with yourself. Gentleness- not that pressure.

What is there more to be aware of: the things you say to yourself during the day before and during performing this or that task: self talk. And then, the distress (or calm) that follows that self talk.

The awareness you mentioned is like being aware of something like: I like flowers. The more- awareness I am referring to is like: I like white flowers early in the morning because they reflect the tiny bit of sun so brightly. I like the smell of roses. These flowers, better be cautious of the thorns that surround them. Look at those bees pollinating those flowers. Etc.

This ongoing awareness/ mindfulness cannot be achieved perfectly- so you got to remove (slowly, gently) the all-or-nothing/ perfectionism core beliefs and expectations from the practice of it.

anita