Anita. I’ve been having a really bad couple of days and I think your great amount of knowledge can definitely help me and hopefully calm me down if you could explain to me what’s happening and how it really is my OCD once again.

I recently think I have developed a really bad episode of ROCD (relationship OCD). Let me give you a back story of my relationship. Where we live in college, I am with my boyfriend every single day, sleep with him every single night, he is my partner in everything and we don’t really hang out alone. Now, I recently last Friday, came back to my hometown where I find myself a lot less with my boyfriend and definitely with friends. All my friends are single and I almost feel that I feel guilty having fun WITHOUT my boyfriend. And my OCD attaches to this and says oh you don’t want to be with your boyfriend. You want to be single and enjoy life. You want to break up. You don’t love him. And I spiral out of control and get where I am now.

Another thing I notice, which I think is JUST NORMAL, is that I want other men to want me. I like going out and other guys thinking I’m beautiful and trying to talk to me. I have always been such a flirty person I get along with everyonw. and I feel that since I’ve gotten a boyfriend, I’ve lost that about me. I don’t have many guy friends, I don’t connect with random people like I always used to. But is there anything wrong with wanting to feel wanted by other men??  My boyfriend compliments me every second of everyday… it’s not that he doesn’t make me feel beautiful. He makes me feel more beautiful than anyone has ever made me feel.

Another thing I’m thinking is that we are going on a trip alone together in 4 days and my OCD is trying to get me to ruin it. This might be happening just sonmy OCD can say oh you’re not going to enjoy this trip you’ve been waiting MONTHS for and wanted for years with him. I’m in control and I’m going to ruin it for you. And what other way to ruin the Romantic trip than my convincing YOU that you don’t want to be with your boyfriend?? I find that my mind does that when I’m really happy.

Another thing I can say is that I am finally so happy with my boyfriend that it’s scaring me that this could be the guy I marry? He is so perfect and I am so young that it’s starting to scare me that I can really marry my first boyfriend.

Overall, I just have been really tense in my relationship and my OCD has really latched on to me believing that I want to be alone and I start panicking because I love my boyfriend so much. Another thing I can add is that we have BARELY been together this past week maybe 3 times for some hours but that’s it, so I can’t even reassure myself with him becusse he’s not around so my OCD is spiraling. Now we are on vacation desperately with families so I won’t see him for another 4 days either until we go on our vacation together.

anita please help me understand myself and these horrible thoughts and how I could not worry and feel better about myself and my boyfriend because he’s everything I want and I love him so much and I hate having these thoughts. By the way, I talked to him about all this and he says he understands but that he never wants other girls to think he’s hot. And when I told him he asked me if I wanted to be alone because he thinks I think I’m too good for him and that I’m acting like I want to break up and that’s what KILLED me, he told me what my OCE was telling me, and it’s brought me to the lowest point of this week, and now I’m freaking ou. I can’t believe he thought this. It’s like the incident with my mom when she asked me the questions my OCD was convincing me was true and it made me lose my mind and I got really bad anxiety for days.

please help as soon as you can. Thank you ALWAYS!!!