Dear Danielle:

You are welcome. Yes, everything you describe is congruent with OCD. Keep in mind that competent psychotherapy is out there for OCD sufferers like you. Not all are, but there are competent therapists out there who specialize in treating anxiety and specifically OCD.

Yes, it is normal to want other men to find you attractive. It is also normal for a young woman to be curious about experiencing relationships with other men and to not marry the first boyfriend.

It is, again, normal to have conflicts- to want X (your boyfriend, for example.. or an extra piece of cake), but to also want Y (future boyfriends… or to keep a lean figure). All people experience conflicting wants. It is not normal or natural to experience no conflicts, so don’t be alarmed when you do experience a conflict. If you are not alarmed when experiencing a conflict, you will feel less distress and less OCD.

It is very possible for you to continue to have a loving relationship with your boyfriend while suffering from OCD. Again, competent professional help would be best. But even with such help, you still have to practice skills on a daily basis, ongoing.

Avoiding asking (the compulsion) is one way to weaken, over time and persistence, the connection between the thought/ obsession and the asking/ compulsion. (I wonder if the following idea may work, you can try it and see if it does: agree with your boyfriend on asking him one question per day, and only one question?)

It is tough, dealing with anxiety, OCD. But you can do it as you already have. When you think an untrue/ distressing thought, correct it in your own mind- tell yourself the truth. Maybe you can make a list of those truths on a piece of paper, such as: conflicts are normal; it is okay to want X and Y. My boyfriend loves me, etc. and when you are distressed, take out this piece of paper and read those true thoughts.

Post anytime.

anita