Thank you so much Anita for getting back quickly. I know all these thoughts are normal but somehow they seem to freak me out. and I think it’s not OCD and that I just have an inuition that I want to be alone and I’m forcing something. Do you think there is a reason that EVERYTIME something really good is happening or is going to I freak myself out? Thinking that my OCD is going to ruin my happiness. Like this is all happening because I’m going on a trip with him and my mind doesn’t want me ENJOY it. Why does OCD do that??

its just scary to think what if I don’t want to be with him and I’m forcing it??? I start panicking. And then I really start panicking when I notice that like I enjoy flirting… and I want guys to want me. NEVER do I want to cheat ever I could never I would panic, but I want them to like WANT me and flirt with me and be just be able to say oh haha sorry you’re not getting me, I miss doing that lol. And then when my boyfriend interpreted my OCD as wanting to break up…. And he single… and that he wasn’t good enough for me, it broke me. I couldn’t even sleep last night.

Ive always thought about therapy and started it at one point with a specialist but I feel like I’m always so good with just a couple of bad days a month that it sucks because I always think I’m fine. I hate that he can’t really understand what’s happening in my head.