Dear Capo:

You wrote toward the end of your post: “I want to trust. I want to be open. But I’m not scared of being hurt, I’m scared of being preyed upon”-

your bullying experience (“I was bullied a lot when I was a kid”) has taught you to not trust people. Your experience was a real-life experience: you didn’t imagine being bullied, you really were. Kids bullying kids is common, unfortunately, it is not out of the ordinary life experience.

Direct experience is what teaches us most convincingly. And so, you shouldn’t trust people indiscriminately. It is true that some people will hurt you, if you are open to them. It already happened. And so, although you may want to trust everyone, it is not wise.

I suppose a child, before he/ she knows better, trusts everyone. The first betrayal of trust that a child experiences is mind boggling to a child’s brain: how can that be, he asks. Unconceivable! Yet it happens.

Once you learn and correctly evaluate a person to be trustworthy in this or that context- then trust that person in that context.

Other thoughts: help your girlfriend with a bit of the “practical legwork of making plans”- help with just one thing, every day. The confidence you will build as a result will be worth the effort.

Animation is a difficult industry to get into and succeed, isn’t it? Isn’t it a lot about being hired by a few dominant companies, something like being in the right place at the right time?

Hope to read from you soon.

anita