Daniela,

I hope that posting about this helps you to feel better. I expect it will be a process for you, as it is for most of us who have been involved with and deeply loved someone, but the feelings and actions weren’t mutual.

So first, give yourself lots of compassion. It may be that when you moved away the first time, that started kind of a downward spiral in your relationship with this guy. But, I’m sure you were doing your best at the time. You made the best decision you could with what you knew then. It’s normal to wish you’d done things differently, but you did what you did, and when you’re ready, you’ll stop agonizing over your decisions of the past.

Meanwhile, the quality of a relationship is never the responsibility of only one person. This guy had a role too. I’m not saying that you should shift into an attitude of blame, but in the hopes that you don’t continue to shoulder so much of the failure of this relationship by yourself.

Craig