Hi Anita,

I’m so torn beteen the choices, I don’t even know what my heart wants. For some reason my gut is trllling me that if I’m going to see him, it has to this week/weekend. I think it’s because anymore time delaying it, will continue to “build up” this fantasy. I want to be able to move on from all of this the best way possible, and I just don’t know which option is the best.

I am 100% sure that I will not be taken for another ride with him, should he want that. I am worried though that if I do see him, rather than facing my fantasy head on, I might regress and miss him more afterwards. It’s so confusing! I don’t know if I would regret more seeing him, or not seeing him.

To make matters worse, I lost my job this week. I was planning on leaving anyway, but for it to happen that way, has been particularly traumatic for me and my clients. I’m also grieving that now, too.  I’m worried I’m not thinking clearly, and Thai feeling of everything being rushed to make a decision is giving me a lot of anxiety. I really don’t know if I should try to see him today or tomorrow or not. It’s so difficult to know…