Hey Anita!

Jusr wanted to write back since I came back from  Mexico. The trip was amazing. I found myself many times in my head and thinking “am I faking this” “do I really love him” but I would never panic over the thoughts. When we got back from the trip, I find that it really went down. The like almost like the anxiety PURPOSEFULLY happened to see if I would have a bad time or if I was control and was not going to let it affect me. I also think the days together (7) made me comfortable again and I was sure of my relationship and really felt that love again. Now it’s been 2 days that I haven’t seen him and my anxiety I feel is back again….

it is so annoying because I think the root of the problem is that since I am with him every single day in college, I feel that this change (not seeing him everyday) is making me seem that I am not interested or in love anymore since I find myself fine being independent. How do you think I can overcome this? He writes me such nice messages and I can’t help but feel guilty feeling this way and constantly questioning my own feelings.

I have been waiting my entire relationship to be HOW is now… and now that he’s everything I ever wanted him to be it’s like I don’t want it anymore. That’s what my mind is telling me. Do you think I am just scared that since he is so perfect and I actually am probably the most in love I’ve ever been with him, I’m scared. Scared to accept him, scared to fall so hard, scared that I really might marry him and that I’ve finally gotten my dream guy. He is so amazing I can’t express it. And it sucks that I have these thoughts. I feel they only happen when I’m alone/without him. Like last night I freaked out over our past and got so mad again. And he helped me and answered everything I needed and we moved on from it.

I really just want some clarification from your point of view on why I’m feeling this way. Do you think it’s comethjng deeper? Do you think I really just want to be alone? Idk how to feel and I can’t express why I feel this way… and it’s horrible because it’s the happiest we have ever been and I want to enjoy the present and focus on this amazing relationship we have right now.

Thank you so much for your responses and really always helping me understand myself better than I can on my own. Hope to hear from you soon.