Dear Rose:

You wrote that you know that he is “not ready for a commitment”, but you “both assured each other that there is nobody else in our lives that would receive as much attention as the other.”- well that is some commitment. You committed to each other that you will not have a boyfriend and he will not have a girlfriend, and that the two of you will pay attention to each other more than to anyone else.

You wrote: “However, I know that he is talking to multiple girls and it hurts me to think that he is being the same with someone else… I let one of my old friends speak to him…”- so you believe that he is not keeping his part of the commitment he made to you, “being the same with someone else”, paying the same amount of attention to someone else as he does to you.

I suggest you bring up the commitment the two of you made to each other and ask him if he feels he is keeping it, if he feels that he paying more attention to you than he does to other girls.

* Notice, you also want him to pay a special kind of attention to you, not just more attention. But you didn’t make a commitment in that regard, did you?

anita