Dear Samantha:

As you continue to date him, observe him. You can even create a Word Document and take notes, if you want. Document and study his alcohol related behavior. After a period of time, evaluate.

There are many definitions people use for “alcoholic”. Some go for the can’t-stop-until-blacking-out and others think of themselves as lifetime alcoholics because at times, ten years before, they got drunk and acted irresponsibly. And so, I would not trust the term “alcoholic” used for oneself or another: I would ask the person identifying such: what does it mean to you?

If you observe and study your boyfriend’s alcohol related behavior you can learn such things as: does he drink and drive, does he black out and do (what) when unconscious? Is he able to successfully achieve his goals, get and keep employment? And so much more.

anita