Dear wildoceanflower:

A few days ago, you wrote about your state of mind:

“..It’s moments, maybe hours and days spent in the agony of my mind..then there is exhaustion and I have a day of just numb bliss… where I even feel happy enough that I will get through…then it hits again harder. Its like standing in surf. And I just want it to destroy me”

Having zero contact with him and with his family members and girlfriend, is like moving away from the surf so that the wave doesn’t reach you and hit you again and again. Continuing to contact him is destroying yourself.

Having no contact with him will get rid of the experience of extremes: agony of the mind on one end and that “numb bliss” on the other.

I am thinking that what fueled your obsession with this man is the lack of anything meaningful-to-you happening in your life and an overall feeling of powerlessness, not believing that you are able to make a meaningful change in your life regarding work, income, a place you can call home, relationships.

As you move away from the surf, you have to make something meaningful happen in your life, focus on making a positive change, and so, you own prediction that “something will come from this, something creative,” will come true.

Post again, and again, wild ocean flower.

anita