Dear Annie:

You wrote: “If you mention anything to him about someone else in passing, he goes straight to that person to share the gossip- don’t mention anything to him about someone else.

You wrote: “If you try and vent or think out loud, he tries to ‘fix’ it”-  don’t vent or think out loud when he is around.

You wrote: “I’m am a pretty laid-back person. I treat others with respect and compassion… I’m great at forgiving and laughing off problems”-

my further advice: behave with him differently than you behave with the other co-workers, not spontaneously but controlled and calculated. And don’t pressure or expect to feel compassion for him- if you manage to treat him respectfully, you are Buddhist-enough, I say.

anita