Dear Aks:

The fact that your boyfriend wants you to talk with them and make them agree to the marriage is concerning to me: doesn’t he know the reality of parents’ and society’s strong castes and marriage beliefs and practices in India? Doesn’t he know how powerful and common those are?

I think that he is asking too much of you. All he had to do was to tell his parents. He didn’t have to make them agree. His situation, telling his parents, was different from yours.

What I am concerned about, at this point, is that let’s say you marry him against your parents’ wishes and suffer the consequences, that he will not support you and that you will feel alone: unsupported by your parents and unsupported by him.

He needs to understand your situation and be empathetic to you, not pressuring you, as if it was your fault that your parents do not agree to the idea of marriage with him.

Your thoughts about my concern…?

anita