Dear Milly:

To change limiting beliefs, repeating affirmations can help short term, but not long term. It takes examining the existing beliefs, their origin, the feelings behind them,  considering new, accurate beliefs to replace inaccurate, old beliefs,  and then, experimenting with new behaviors fitting the accurate beliefs. It is only after we experience success with new behaviors, that we grow to believe, truly believe the… accurate, new beliefs.

If you would like to examine this one and only relationship you had for better understanding, will you answer the following:

1. You wrote that he told you that the two of you “couldn’t be ourselves around each other, that there were problems we couldn’t work out”- what did he mean by him not being able to be himself in a relationship with you, do you know? And what problems was he referring to?

2. You wrote: “I also know exactly what I want and need in a relationship, now that I found out what went wrong in my first one.”- what went wrong in the three month relationship?

anita