Dear Jihun,

I googled the term “Platonic love” and found this definition:

A deep, non-sexual friendship between two heterosexual people of the opposite sexes.

Unfortunately, the expression means you were friend-zoned. Every man goes through this—the part of a relationship where we question whether or not the feelings are mutual. You’ve already made the right choice in calculating your next move, and it is always better to be cautious when dealing in unknown territory.

But what is the right choice you ask? Relationships are fickle; there is no right choice. To piggyback off what Anita said, women do have sex with men they are not attracted to, and many would not object to being on the receiving side of pleasure. However, I advise against pursuing this practice.

You will encounter many women in your life, and some might be more or less ambiguous than the current. Yet, if you spend this time developing yourself as a man (I assume you are one but correct me if I’m wrong), then you will have no trouble spotting an uninterested woman from another—and most importantly, deciding which is right for you.

The biggest mistake we make is chasing the first person that shows us a bit of interest. Although the attention is nice (and I’m sure we can all agree that a little attention is great), it is not fair to shortchange ourselves by feeling that we are not good enough. Our subconscious is always listening, and the next person that comes into our lives is getting a man/woman that believes we are only worthy of “Platonic love.”

Jihun, my advice is this: Enjoy the company and be happy while continuing to grow as an individual.

This woman is obviously unclear in her objectives, and don’t allow yourself to get caught in a head-trip because of her indecisiveness (I use indecisiveness because she seems to enjoy having you around while knowing you have feelings for her).

There are plenty of youtube videos on learning how to attract the opposite sex, build yourself into a better orator, and creating a positive mindset. TinyBuddha has been a great resource for myself, and I hope that you continue to ask questions.

Stay positive, my friend.

– Hemingway