Dear Nan:

It boggles the mind to think how much of what people (as is true to me as well)  do to please others is, looking back, nothing but wasted time, energy and resources. All that R-1 has done to please his wife and the result: she does everything within her power to make his life miserable: what a poor return on investment. And your hard work as a nurse, bringing in the money, and the return: being unappreciated, belittled.

Your last sentences are touching: “If we should ultimately not ever be able to get together (one of us dies or gets seriously sick), we have each other in our hearts, and know we were loved unconditionally and adored without  question by each other.”- beautiful sentiment, beautiful expression. In your hearts, neither one of you is in limbo, then. A definition of in limbo (title of your thread) is: an uncertain or undecided state or condition, but you and R-1 are decided, “without question”.

anita