I have seen a psychologist a while back for the diagnosis, and have been medicated for anxiety and depression for about 5 years now. Unfortunately, we never really had the money for me to have regular treatment, so I had went for a while when I was 13 and was never really able to go again. You are probably right with my anxiety being triggered with my parents poor relationship. My mom said they were good at hiding the problems from us since we were so young, but I was and still am very receptive to others feelings and emotions.

I want to add something else to this as well. When I was explaining my feelings to my mom I slowly started to figure out that I have this subconscious presumption about all men. I realize that some of my fear when on that date was (like I previously mentioned) “he’s looking at me in a sexual way.” Although my conscious self says “not all men are bad… women and men can be JUST friends…” my subconscious is saying “no, men only have sexual intentions.” Again, I am not saying this is true, nor want to believe that, but somehow my mind keeps coming back to that idea and stereotype. I figured that it might have something to with all the movies and television shows that have conditioned me to see relationships in that manner. I hope this helps thed some more light onto the issue.

I appreciate your help Anita!

-Brittany