Dear Lauren:

““you have to make us happy and make us look good in front of the rest of the family and society” is the real message. In Indian culture new generations are sacrificed for the benefit of the older generations. (Often enough, in ways other than arranged marriages, this is the case in Western cultures as well).

If his parents send him the message above (which I quoted) and then tell him that all they want is for him to be happy, they are either lying or they are conveniently thinking something like, we want you to be happy AFTER you do what we want you to do for our benefit.

I hope that your logical self and emotional self become in synch, have a peaceful meeting place on this issue.

anita