Dear dreaming715:

Getting over an intense fear is a long term project. I don’t know if 100% getting-over-it an intense, long term, early established fear is even possible. But 80%-90% would be nice, wouldn’t it?

I am still dealing with intense fear myself, an intense fear originating in childhood. My healing process started a bit over six years ago with my first quality psychotherapy. I worked a bit over six years at this point, every day, hours per day, on my healing. And I am definitely not over my fear. I only hope that it will be easier and not as lengthy a process for you, that my intense fear has been more intense, more extensive than yours, and so, it may not require so much time and work in your case.

I have no  doubt though that fear is a powerful emotion for everyone and that healing from intense fear is a lot of work and time for anyone attempting this.

To get over this best you can, these are my thoughts and suggestions:

1) Brace yourself for the long term. No easy and fast solutions. You may practice one solution at any one time and feel better, calm, maybe hoping that you made it, but not likely. It does take a long time and persistence over time.

2) Notice how you have been dealing with this fear so far- what were your solutions so far? Some people turn to drugs, others to food… escaping into computer games, TV.. what are your ways of escaping the fear?

3) Those ways (#2)- are they causing further distress? Need to stop some of those ways, moderate/ adjust others.

4) Of the ways you used so far, those that are not harmful, continue to use them, as healthy distractions, so when fear is overwhelming, you for example, go for a walk, listen to calming music, watch some TV and so on.

5) Create a daily routine for yourself. A routine helps with anxiety. Change the routine as you learn what works and what doesn’t.

6) Share your anxiety with your boyfriend/ others in moderation, so to not overwhelm him, not to burden others, and yet get support from him/ others.

7) Know that you are not alone, experiencing intense fear. Unfortunately, you and I have a lot of company in this regard. Keep reaching out like you did on this thread, reach out for help and offer help for others in their struggles with fear.

anita