Dear Cloud:

Emotional Attachment is the theme of your thread, I believe. In your relationship with your current friend you are experiencing an anxious/preoccupied attachment to her, feeling at times overly needy of her, being overly occupied with her in your mind, to the point of not focusing on your life otherwise.

On one hand you long for attachment, intimacy, closeness but on the other hand, it is associated with anxiety and distress for you. It is possible that a reason behind your identification with the Asexual typing is that physical closeness, particularly sexual, is very distressing for you. Again, closeness is a double edge sword- you long for it and you fear it.

The title of your thread has “letting go of my feelings for my best friend”- I think that the reason you want to let go of your attachment feelings to her is the anxiety that is associated with your attachment, to her and to anyone else.

The reason I asked about your relationships with your parents is that how we get attached romantically to others as adults has a lot to do with how we got attached to our parents. I will ask my question of the last post in a clearer way: as a child, before your ex best friend was in your life, were you anxious? Did you feel that you cannot trust your mother or father (or both) to treat you well continuously?

anita