Dear Scott:

You wrote: “There is nothing I want more than to find peace and clarity and a sense of calm” and I do wish you this. It is an achievable goal but a long term project. The practice of Mindfulness is necessary in achieving this goal, I strongly believe. On an ongoing basis, notice your anxious thinking, the intrusive thoughts and re-direct your thinking, don’t ruminate. Of course, you will fail, again and again, the intrusive thoughts being back, and you will find yourself lost in negative thinking about her or worrying otherwise. When you find yourself lost there, bring yourself back again and again.

I call the patience required in this process of bringing yourself back again and again, “excruciating patience”- because so much of it is required over such a long period of time as progress is so very slow and often one feels like it is undoable and give up. But don’t give up, persist.

Create a peaceful place in your brain, a certain sanctuary in your brain where there is that”peace and clarity and a sense of calm” that you need and want so badly. Whenever you find yourself in the places in your brain where there is distress, go back to the other place, the calm place and spend time there.

anita

* I want to acknowledge the valuable input by the responding members Cloud (we are communicating on your thread), Ramone Joseph, and Fortunate1 (I would like it if you started your own thread where I can communicate with you. If you would like to do so, please do: click Forums, choose a Category, click your chosen category, scroll down the page).