Dear Joe:

Regarding your last two lines, people who just wont let other people be. I went back to your post before last, regarding the older co worker, “he made snide comments about how I was quiet most of the time” and then attacking you with his aggressive: “Really?!? You don’t like football?!? What do you like, cooking?’”

What motivated him, I am wondering. We hear what people say, not what the voices in their heads before they say what they say. It could be that when you said you hate football, he heard the voice of a wife or an ex wife criticizing him for watching too much soccer and he lashed out at that voice/ you.

Not liking you being quiet, a possibility is that, using a wife or an ex wife example as nothing but a possibility, she gives him the “silent treatments” when she is angry, builds up her anger and finally explodes. So when a person is quieter than most, his distress builds up.

This dynamic- whatever the true details of his life- is behind a lot of aggressive behavior in people, the reason why they don’t let other people be.

Regarding the friend of a friend during the night out, he kept remarking that you are”too quiet and I need to cheer up, bla bla bla…” May very well be that because you were quieter than most, he was hearing a voice in his head criticizing him for drinking too much and doing cocaine. The voice being triggered because of previous experiences of people being quiet when angry.

I am elaborating on these because it may be helpful to better understand people’s motivations, not so to tolerate their aggression (no, no, no!), but because the more understanding people’s motivation, the more wisdom, and the better we function in life, for our best interest.

Graphic design reads fitting to your inclination and talent. Wikipedia has a long entry on “graphic design” – fascinating.

anita