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Reply To: His silent treatment is driving me crazy

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#155982
Anonymous
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Dear Connie:

Let’s look at the term “silent treatment” in the title of your thread and in the content. The term originated in prisons close to 200 years ago as an alternative to physical punishment. The idea was to punish the prisoners by not allowing talking, and to give the prisoners the opportunity to reflect on their disapproved behaviors (their crimes).  In relationships, the person giving the other the silent treatment is trying to punish the one receiving the treatment, and once the receiver of the treatment reflects on their disapproved behavior long enough, and is willing and able to change that behavior, then the treatment ends.

Thing is, it is not clear to me that he is giving you the silent treatment. He is silent, yes, but he may not be… mistreating you with it. He may simply be a man of his word: he clearly communicated to you that the relationship is not healthy, that he knows you wanted to break up with him for a long time, and that he is giving you what you wish. Maybe he is done communicating with you, taking care of himself by not availing himself to the distress in further communication.

Maybe he has already gone with you through a pattern of fighting-making up-fighting- making up etc., and he has exited the pattern/ loop.

What do you think?

anita