Thanks for the reply Dawn and Craig.

Craig I am close to feeling this relationship is taking a terrible toll on my physically and emotionally. On our trip I almost called it off. My counselor feels there is a need not being met. Not sure what it is but I will continue to find it. I also now that there was the same feeling in my marriage.

Dawn, not sure what to say. That was eloquent and brought a tear to my eyes. It told me what I should know already. Having moved and being mid forties and somewhat shy making friends has always been difficult. During my last counseling session he asked me to give him 5 good things about myself. I went 5 silent minutes. Terrible I know. In regards to kids they 10 & 14. We do have contact whenever with texting and FaceTime.

I need to work on myself just not sure where to start. I’ve joined a gym and remained a runner. I have started cooking better and more healthy. Of course I did find a colleague and we had Wednesday night to golf and talk, but a medical issue has come up and will he will be out for a month or more.

Nothing seems to be “full” or permanent at this time. My daughters are part time and girlfriend is part time.