Dear anon:

You wrote: “it just doesn’t make sense that he’d lose his strong feelings first and be able to keep his weak ones.”- it makes sense if his difficult life is made a bit less difficult losing the strong feelings. If his strong loving feelings for you are associated with strong guilt on this part, and the guilt is long established in relationship to his parents, then losing his loving feelings for you will ease his guilt regarding you.

I figure it is way more difficult for him to lose the guilt (a core belief established early in his life, during those Formative Years of childhood) than it is to lose his loving feelings for you.

Regarding “weak feelings” that do not cause him guilt, feelings that don’t threaten him with more and more distress and pain, I suppose there is no motivation to lose them.

I still think, as I wrote to you at the end of my last post here, that he should exit the war zone where he is living- I don’t see how he can be well if he doesn’t.

anita