Thanks for your response! In answer to anita’s question: I feel that all of life is meaningless. There is just no reason for, say, that bird outside my window to exist, breed, struggle, die.

I don’t know what would make my life meaningful. I guess feeling like my struggle has a purpose; like knowing that it’s for some reason.

I guess the real reason for this post is that everything I thought was true has turned out not to be (i.e. if you go to school, work hard, buy a home, etc you’ll be successful and safe; if you spend time in community and contribute/participate, your contribution (and you) will be valued, etc.), so now I don’t know what it’s all for if what I thought it was for is not true. Don’t know if that makes sense.

I do try to remain positive, and I understand how my thought processes can drive my depression and hopelessness, but lately this knowing isn’t helping much.