Hello Anita,

I tend to get verbally abusive when I am upset. I told him that I wanted to break up several times because I couldn’t feel he cared for me. That was my insecurity issue and I pushed him away in oder for him to come back and reassure things. But I never wanted to break up. It’s just when I am angry, I can’t control whatever comes out of my mouth 🙁  (thats why I have decided to start practicing mindfulness.)The reason he felt that breaking up was something I ultimately wanted was probably because I had mentioned it many times in the past.

The argument caused the break-up:

He was upset that I called him too many times and texted him saying I didn’t feel he cared for me. (I did that because I waited for 8 hours for him to call/text me back. It was our first week of long-distance, I was really insecure)

He told me he felt he was trying hard to check on me but it was never enough and would stop texting me in the future. I then asked him how he would like to keep communication in the future. He just said he would stop doing anything. I asked him what we should do. He replied “have a good night.”

I said “then I guess that’s it.”

He “What? so you want to break up again? better that way?”

I said no. He then said he didn’t want to argue with me because he had a really rough day.

I asked him “is it over? do you want to break up?” He said “sure.” “if you have to ask, then yes”

I tried calling him to talk on the phone. He wouldn’t pick up my calls and texted me back “if you keep calling me, I will block your number,” but soon apologized he didn’t want to be rude and just wanted to avoid drama.

At this point, I should have left him alone but I didn’t. I told him to block my number. I did this because I couldn’t stop the urge to keep calling him, so I figured perhaps for him to block me temporary could leave both of us some quiet time. He didn’t block my number but I was exhausted from the drama so I left him alone eventually.

I felt I tried to communicate with him but all he did was shutting me out. I also know I should have controlled my temper better and really listened to what he wanted, but I didn’t. I just let my emotions explode till it was too late.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 5 months ago by Connie.