Dear Mina:

There is a very important concept that if you take it in will help you tremendously, I believe. It is Distress Tolerance. What you are experiencing is distress. Tolerating it means experiencing it without panicking, without reacting in ways that will make your situation worse.

No matter how badly you feel, you can and will survive it. It is amazing how much suffering, unfortunately, people go through, emotionally, physically, and survive it. Even thrive. It FEELS badly but it is not bad unless and until you react automatically, impulsively.

Don’t give up being thoughtful, considering the consequences of your actions, regardless of how you feel.

People watch horror movies, for example. They feel really scared, terrified, through a whole lot of the movie, but at the end of the movie, they are still alive, get up and leave the theater. The fear didn’t kill them.

As you feel scared or depressed and time doesn’t seem to end, these feelings will not harm you.

Only what we do when we feel certain ways can harm us, not the feelings themselves. And if you let the feeling be, it will get weaker and you get a break. It may intensify later, but you will get a break once again. You can even invite a break by taking a walk or listening to music, or watching a movie.

A bad feeling doesn’t last endlessly and neither does a good feeling. Calm doesn’t last endlessly.

A bad feeling is not dangerous and it is not permanent.

I hope you post again, anytime.

anita