Dear lost123:

I am very familiar with the movie Bridges of Madison Country. The character Francesca Johnson, chose to not join Robert Kincaid and remain in her marriage to her husband because she was afraid, this is my understanding. She was afraid to leave the familiar and engage in the unfamiliar. She was afraid to leave the predictability of her life.

Is it fear in your case as well? I understand that you were not living with your wife while engaged with the better matched-to-you woman. But could it be that you  were afraid nonetheless?

anita