Dear Pearce:

You wrote that one of your PTSD triggers shames you. But that trigger, like the others, is not of your choosing- these neural connections between certain sights and sounds and your “hyper alert” reaction (Flight/Fight Response) were made automatically, in your brain, not a subject to thought or choice.

People often feel shame about what they feel or think, when in reality, feelings and random thoughts are automatic mental events, not subject to … pride or shame. I understand the fear you had sharing this and I appreciate your courage in sharing it nonetheless.

You described your PTSD experience in the bank: “I went on high alert, got physically nauseated, started sweating profusely…” These are classic symptoms of the Flight/Fight Response to fear. None of your choosing. You didn’t choose the trigger nor did you choose the response (and why would anyone choose such distressing experiences..)

It is bad enough that you suffered as much as you did being injured in Iraq and recovering in Germany and beyond. At the least, I hope you no longer suffer from the neurological consequences of that injury and experience.

I hope you enjoyed your beach experience yesterday. I remember going to the beach as a child, teenager. The sun melted all my anxieties, worries, fears. It was my sanctuary too.

anita