Hello Katie

I was like you. When I started dating my current ex (I still don’t want to  acknowledge the break-up), I was constantly thinking If I made myself too available or questioned myself whether he was really into me, how much he loved me, or stuff like that.

We eventually broke apart because of my anxiety. Because no matter how much he tried or how many times he reassured me everything’s good, I just felt it was never enough. I had to constantly break up with him and push him away for him to come back and tell me he truly wanted to be with me.

I regret it everyday for being so immature but I have also learned that this kind of anxiety was too overwhelming that got out of my control.

I have started practicing mindfulness and it helps me realize that thoughts are only thoughts, fears are a form of thoughts, too. Oftentimes they are not how things are or will develop to be. The more you fear the more you push things away. Please keep in mind that you have to find your own happiness, meaning that you are happy with or without him. Find your happiness and peace within, then the person you spend life with is just another one to share things with. Do not get caught in your thought. Live in the moment, with or without his presence. Thats the only way this relationship can keep going. I know you can’t help but feel anxious. Try to find your own happiness! Thats what I would do if I were you! I lost the man I really love and I am speaking from my experience. Hope this helps.