Dear JuliaM:

You read like a very reasonable person and it reads to me that she is adamant about her decision to go ahead with the wedding. Because you cannot change her mind, and you do respect her right to make the choice to go ahead with the wedding, what I would do, if I was you, would be to no longer voice to her your concerns. Instead, adapt as positive an attitude as you can: after all, it is possible that the marriage will work out.

Keep in mind: if he cheats on her again and if she experiences more heartache in the marriage to come, that will not be your responsibility, not something you caused and not your job to fix. Just as it is now, not your responsibility or job to fix her heartache or situation. You already voiced your concerns, and that is all you can do. And so, you already did all you can do.

anita