Dear Hannah:

The examples of what you feel is hurtful and abusive things that he told you are:

1. “just get over my past like an adult.”

2. “yes because no one else makes him mad like I do.”

3. “I have to sit here and be ok with your anxiety, when it just ends up costing me more money.”

4. “(you) should just go be single and alone “.

5. “(He) refuses to subject himself to that treatment and is sick of just ‘fitting in’”.

6. “there’s no way to be compassionate over text”.

7. “(It, your behavior, I assume) is not normal and I need to learn how to adjust”

My input: I see no abuse whatsoever in # 5 and 6.

Regarding the rest: they are unkind but not necessarily abusive, depending on the context of your behavior. In example #4: it is unkind, no doubt. But if the context is that you complain to him on and on and on about him, how dissatisfied you are with him, and many of your complaints are unreasonable, then he may get angry, naturally, and resort to a retort, which is what #4 may very well be, as well as a few of the others.

Will be back in 7-17 hours. I hope other members will reply to you next.

anita