Dear Scott:

A couple of things: your thoughts are not totally devoid of practical usefulness. The past sexual behavior you described on the part of your girlfriend while she consumed alcohol and the fact that she still consumes alcohol and is not always in your presence, may have a practical, reality based validity. She behaved that way in the past, maybe she is still inclined. This is not an.. unfair way of thinking. Considering a person’s past behavior is wise, when in a relationship with that person.

I don’t remember if I suggested it before and if you did discuss this with her, asking her what would happen if she drank alcohol when you are not with her, and it so happens she finds herself alone with another man, similar circumstances to what you described happened already. A valid concern: did you ask?

It is also true that just because a person behaved a particular way in the past, does not mean they will behave that way again. How do you know which is the case? Ask, talk about it with the relevant person, her.

You wrote: “I often wonder why I am the way I am about certain things and where my anxiety comes from” – Looking at nature, males of many species are indeed concerned that only they will have access to a particular female, that it will be indeed their genes passed on to her offspring. I forgot in what species this happens, but the male literally attached himself to the female until she lays eggs, making sure it is his genes in those eggs. We are human animals. I do not underestimate the force of nature in us.

In addition to this point that I believe I bring up to you here for the first time (above), I must have brought other issues in previous threads. What did I post there in regard to the why of your obsession with your girlfriend’s sexual past- will you remind me?

anita