Dear Katie:

I understand why you would miss having more communication with a man you are dating.

You wrote: “It’s hard for me to know what are valid concerns and what’s my unreasonable expectations.”- could be both, at different combinations, at different times. For example, the roller coaster rides, you texted him that you should plan a visit to that park together. Let’s say, you were feeling really good when you texted it, right after a ride, and excited and hopeful at the idea of going on that ride with him: how wonderful it would be! So you texted him. On his end, he is planning for the trip, maybe he is hungry and looking forward to lunch. He can’t think of a roller coaster ride, he is thinking of what he will have for lunch and with whom he will be having it, and … will he be able to stop at a store at the end of his lunch break, to get that part for his house modeling project.

So, let’s say he sees your text about the roller coaster ride and he doesn’t want to answer it- he doesn’t want to fake an interest when he feels none, it will annoy him if he will, so he forgets about it.

When you communicate with him, remember that it is not only about what you experience at the time, the communication is also about what he is experiencing at the time, and the two may be very different and incompatible.

…And I understand and find your need for more communication valid.

anita