Dear Anita,

While I realize there is not an actual imminent danger, something that could hurt me or kill me, I feel like there is always something to lose. So, in me saying I don’t want to lose the relationship, is this because I’m programmed to be scared because of my childhood or is it because I actually just value the relationship? And if I’m scared because I value the relationship a lot, not wanting someone else, is the amount of worrying I’m doing normal or the type that I’m doing?

One of the most troubling things I am noticing is the urge to put up a front. I want to change, I want to not have the anxiety, but I feel like in order to do this, I have to act different with/towards my girlfriend. There’s a part of me that wants her attention, for her to see that I don’t care about certain things, that I won’t react when she mentions something about another guy that – in my mind – I immediately think the worst case scenario. I’m definitely thinking in terms of the worst things that could happen in this relationship, and while I understand I’ll always be okay no matter what, it’s hard to balance out my emotions and how I show them to my girlfriend.

Scott