Dear lost_star:

You are welcome and thank you for your appreciation and kindness.

Regarding your sadness over his pain, your helplessness in face of the unfairness of this, over his pain-

He is feeling pain and you are feeling pain. You are feeling pain about his pain. This is the nature of empathy. As you feel compassion for him for his pain, have compassion for yourself as well: you are feeling pain as well.

This pain about unfairness, injustice, cruelty that people inflict on each other, parents on their children, this pain we have to endure. I have to endure it. When you can’t change a situation, all you can do is endure. Otherwise, if you don’t endure it, you try to get rid of the pain any which way. In the desperation to get rid of pain people rush to “solutions” that create more problems and so, people dig greater holes for themselves, getting deeper and deeper into pain and despair.

So we have to endure, bear what we cannot change.

anita