Dear rideeta:

You wrote: “I could not get married and pretend to be someone else for the rest of my life”-

Good choice on your part. You would have felt great despair if you did marry him and pretend to believe in the religion he believes in, practicing it, talking like you do, basically, lying to him and to his family.. and to yourself.

There is a price to pay for this good choice, and that is the loneliness you are experiencing. You were attached to him, emotionally and you still are.

It is most important that you don’t reach out to him anymore, as you have done in the last 1.5 months, as he asked you. You are doing the right thing by not reaching out to him.

He is probably not going to change his religion, is he. And you are not going to believe in it, are you. There is nothing to do then but lose hope in what is highly unlikely to happen.

When you see him in class, try to see him without the hope in your eyes. Lose that hope and your attachment will weaken.

anita