Dear JD:

I think that what bothered you so much before, when you were not good at surfing, is that people thought badly of you, that you were a joke. That thought, that they think you are a joke, was very painful for you then, and when it reappeared recently, you experienced the same pain. Then you thought the next thought: “it doesn’t matter if I ever catch a good wave i will always be a joke”.

Who you are is not in what people thought or are thinking about you. People have so many, many thoughts every hour, every day, many random thoughts about millions of things and people. Thoughts are momentary mental events in between one’s ears, not an indication of your identity or worth.

But we people tend to go about our day judging ourselves according to what other people think of us. We look at another and think: what does he/she thinks of me and while we do that, he or she thinks the same.

It is what you think that matters, what you think that is sometimes under your control, subject to your choosing. Seems to me that what does define you is that you wanted and still want to be good at something, that desire is true to you. It is good that it is always possible for you to be indeed, good at something.

anita