Dear Felix:

You are welcome. no need to apologize for your feelings, for “sounding so gloom.. covered in total darkness”- this is how you feel and you don’t choose your feelings, so no wrong doing to apologize for.

You wrote that you “have nothing left”- but you do have “a great job”, you wrote in this post. And you have this dog you love so much.

You wrote: “she was special and I simply cannot imagine my life without her”- interesting, you didn’t express her being special in your life before, and the life you did detail in previous threads, the life with her, read like a life better imagined alone. One such memory that comes to my mind is when you brought her flowers, was it, a special occasion and how miserable that occasion turned out to be. There was lots of dissatisfaction in this marriage that you expressed for a long, long time.

You wrote: “pain doesn’t always go away”- not without attentive, purposeful, ongoing work, a journey of sorts. Pain otherwise shifts its focus:  it was there with you before throughout great dissatisfaction with your marriage, work, societal attitudes that you expressed in previous threads, and it is with you now, focusing on an ending of a marriage (although miserable for a long time).

anita