Dear Mary:

When someone tells you how you hurt their feelings “by saying or doing something”- consider whether what you said or did was indeed offensive.

Let’s say person X says: my favorite color is red. Person Y says: My favorite color is blue. Both shared their favorite color, nothing to it. Except that person X feels hurt, believing she was just criticized for liking the color red, so she tells person Y: you hurt my feelings!

Should person Y apologize to person X?

Regarding your second paragraph of last post to me, it is unfortunate that you are living in the same house with your abusive mother and that the idea of living elsewhere is either impossible or is causing you a great deal of anxiety.

anita