Connie,

i couldn’t have written it better myself. i was in a relationship that was absolutely wonderful. we did all the “right” things, as i’m reading now. i was getting all the “right” signals. we talked about long term a year from now, no big rush.

then he started “chatting” with an old female friend, married, and our relationship crumbled before my eyes. i didn’t catch it in the beginning, but noticed some really BIG changes in his demeanor toward me, REALLY BAD !! yet he kept talking about the future. i thought it was just a bump.

then he told me to leave, we were living together. so i did. i was completely dumbstruck. we still chatted a little and talked about how we missed our relationship and each other. i went back for 10 days. what i had felt before seemed to be gone, within myself. i couldn’t get over the feeling that sneaking around with his phone and lies were still going on, not to mention i kept catching him doing it. hind sight i wish i would have taken pictures of him doing it.

i found a few weeks after the final break up, in July, that he was going around telling ppl lies about me. that i was jealous and made stuff up. basically covering his butt with both hands. i mean really terrible things that sabotaged my character. i’m not a jealous person. i never was. i became suspicious, naturally with all the sneaking around going on, and the sudden changes in our relationship.

he finally admitted that he’d been chatting with her. i believe she’s a malicious person and egged this situation on. YES it’s ultimately on him because HE engaged in the behaviour and let all this happen! it was his choice!!

i’ve now wasted a year and half of my life. moved everything to another state, where we lived. i had my life starting to fall together. suddenly, the whole thing just shattered like tempered glass. in the beginning i was careful, asked the right questions, watched for the bad signs… he was a completely different person then. it’s like he got possessed and completely changed. he didn’t take any new meds or go thru any traumatic experience. so what gives???

i think i’m most hurt by the complete and utter lies and sabotage!! i mean, i LOVED this person. we were partners, and mates. i don’t understand how someone could CHOSE TO FLUSH so much down the toilet, and then have AUDACITY to say that it’s not easy on him either.. WHAT ??!! i’m almost 50 years old and had to move to my mother’s house and figure out how to put my life back together!!

it gets better… these last couple of weeks i’ve come down with some kind of infection. going to dr this week. i feel like i’ve been stabbed in the back, and if this turns out to be an STD it’ll be like twisting the knife..

i KNOW i’m better off without someone who could do this to someone who’s supposed to be a partner, let alone another human being. i KNOW i can eventually find someone who wouldn’t do this to me. i KNOW what i want out of a partner in life.

so WHY do i feel like crap and like.. HOW did i miss some kind of special sign that would have shown me that he was a POS and was going to turn on me after falling in love with me, which i know he did??? it doesn’t fit in my mind!! or my heart !!! this is INSANE if this is what our society has turned into !!!!!!!!!!!!!!