Hi all,

it didn’t occur to me till recently that I started to realize my insecurity was actually caused by his dishonesty. Since, in the beginning, i blamed solely myself for the failure of our relationship.

The lies I can immediately name: how long he rented his then appartment, his sister’s age (big difference), his phone was stolen so he couldn’t contact me, his car war was smashed the night he disappeared, etc. When I confronted him, he would tell me a too-detailed story that’s apparently a make-up or say things like “i don’t know what you are talking about.” ” why don’t you believe me?” “You are the one who lied and I forgave you.” (I once got caught by him lying about a male friend who was simply just a friend) Actually, he’s a great talker, he’s good at selling things with fancy words.

In fact, not just lying, he’s also very preserved about his past. He hardly shared his past with me. He didn’t have many friends, because he did not like his friends for they are lazy and lack of ambition.

I know he had issues when younge, but have no idea what contributed to this very habit of lying/hiding. Additionally, he often reminded me of being careful with people, as if he was putting on a camouflage, sometimes even in front of me.

There’s a wall between us, a wall I could never break down which created distance and insecurity. I could feel his stress, unhappiness and loneliness, yet had no clue how to help him. He would not want my help anyway.

Just when things started getting better and we were talking about spending life together and making future plans, he suddenly backed off and we broke up over a small fight?

I still don’t understand him til today, that’s why it made me feel the relationship could have been nothing to him. I have no idea who I was dealing with. Maybe there’s someone else in the picture that I didn’t know? Maybe he never really loved me?

• This reply was modified 7 years, 3 months ago by Connie.