Hi I know how it feels and trust me no one can understand your pain because even I am trying to find answers and make my life better but if you can do one thing please search on butterfly boy you will get to know a boy who has worst skin disease he can’t even eat properly for him every day is struggle……he may never have a girlfriend,children,physical love or just say a normal life he has every reason to commit suicide or curse and yell at God why why why why why but he doesn’t…….trust me dear just live each day after sometime this pain will go till then it will hurt but slowly it will vanish too hope you will learn something after watching that video……just make one step to heal yourself