Dear Emma:

I re-read all your posts and this is my understanding at this point, what I believe may have happened, a possibility that makes sense to me:

The least significant factor in the breakup is the woman he met at work. She is not the reason for the breakup or for his behavior otherwise.

The significant factor is in this sentences: “He was really unhappy living here and wanted to go back home, however now he says that he doesn’t know what he wants to do, or if he will stay here…he was in a dead end retail job which he hated”-

The two of you met while traveling, which is what he likes to do, having a sense of freedom while traveling, a sense that the future is open for possibilities. He traveled recently, March-July of this year before rejoining you in London and so, it was only in the last month or so, since he returned from his recent travels that it dawned on him that he indeed was about to go back to his family in Australia.

I think he panicked when he realized he is about to return to Australia, losing the sense of freedom, of possibilities and … losing his hope for a better future. Moving back with his family in Australia meant to him some sort of captivity, lack of freedom.

When he told you that “he couldn’t fake it anymore and it was a one sided relationship”- maybe he was referring to your excitement about moving back to Australia and living with his family. Maybe he tried to match your excitement about the prospect, faking such, to match yours and was tired of faking it.

You wrote: “The last week we were together he was a bit distant”- I think he was scared, angry, distressed about the going back to Australia prospect, about to happen.

You wrote: “he used to be so nice to me and would look st me with love. I don’t know how it could change so fast!”- when caught in fear, when panicking, love evaporates immediately.

He hoped for a better future when he met you. But his traveling came to an end and there was nothing of substance in London for him, nothing exciting to sustain him there, such as a career or even an interesting job, or a job with a future. He had a dead end job which he hated and he was on probation there.

These are the circumstances causing him to panic. Anger and fear go hand in hand.

anita