Dear Kylee:

In your note to me you wrote: ” I need to try and learn better how to identify what I’m thinking and feeling vs what is actually happening”

Let’s look at what you are thinking and feeling vs what is actually happening:

You wrote above, about your boyfriend: “He growing up actually had a great family background he told me and I got to meet his family. which is so odd because he has such a wonderful family and they are all so close. But for some reason when we were around his family he acted more cold and distant towards me which made me feel so alone and sad.”

What you were feeling in this quote: “so alone and sad”. You were probably thinking that he was so close with his family members yet so distant from you, left you out of the closeness festivity, correct?

What was actually happening: “he acted more cold and distant …He also acted so…moody towards some of his family ( like his mother ) I mean she was very excited and talkative”

He acted cold and distant toward you because he felt cold and distant with his mother and other family members. Reality is they are not “all so close”. Distant, not close, is what was actually happening. It only felt close to you. He acted “moody towards… his mother” not because he felt close to her but because he felt distant, angry, maybe self-protective.

The fact that she was “very excited and talkative”- what did that mean to you?

anita