I too just lost a 17 year marriage, I wasn’t allowed to have a female friend except for his cousins wife, well 17 years later that’s who abadoned me for. I’ve since put myself in a mental hospital for a week and constantly read different self help subjects on the internet. He abadoned me taking all my belongings drivers license wallet ss card transcript from school jewelry box he left me in a camper at my mother’s, we were staying in because she had a triple bypass and I was helping her. He abadoned our dogs and blames just me for all our problems. It has been a lil over 2 months and my birthday is soon, the pain is killing me, I’m as lost has a kid in a grocery store. No clue of future, no idea of anything, I’ve thought about the s word, I’ve felt so betrayed used untrusted unloved lied on made fun of. And still I love him and beg for another chance when I truly know it’s over, just trust me in saying prayers is my hope and strength, and know it’s always worse for someone else count your blessings.