Dear Michelle:

You asked: “What if he decides he doesn’t want to be with me anymore?”- since you are worried about it, it will help if you prepare for it. If he decides that he doesn’t want to be with you, what will happen next? Prepare. You mentioned his father in the other room, meaning you live with him at his parents’ home? If so, I suppose you will need to move out. Figure out the steps you will need to take in case of a break up so that the future doesn’t seem as scary.

You wrote in your last paragraph: “I know only time will tell but the waiting part is going to eat me up inside. How do i stay positive?”- better not wait for him to decide for you, but instead consider that you have the power of deciding as well. As long as you consider him as the powerful one, having 100% control of your life, then you will be… well, powerless, waiting helplessly.

Regarding decisions: as a couple the two of you can decide regarding future get together events with his exes, whether to avoid such, so you don’t have to discuss each such event separately. Avoid arguments and fights altogether. They are not an inherent, unavoidable part of a relationship. It is possible for the two of you to be respectfully assertive. With aggression (arguments and fights) someone loses. Being assertive and respectful allows for a win-win relationship.

anita