Dear Emma:

You wrote: “Being single does not mean to be alone or to be lonely. I just have to  learn to be happy within my skin and being happy by myself”-

Being single or in a relationship means feeling distress at times, no other way possible. There is no “And they lived happily ever after” in any relationship and there is no “happily ever after” being single. My point is that either way, in a relationship or not, a person has to develop endurance, tolerance of distress. Not to panic, not to hurry and escape the distress any which way. If you look around you, if you look at your ex boyfriend’s behavior, you will see people rushing, people in a great hurry to escape, be rid of their distress.

Enduring distress without automatically or impulsively reacting to it is key to mental health.

You will be leaving England and returning to Australia then, to be with your family and friends. I hope you have good relationships with your family members. And I hope you post again while in England and when back in Australia.

anita